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Are You Just A Parent Or A Parent Who Wants To Inspire Their Child?

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How To Motivate & Inspire Your Child?

Today I shall be writing on how you can inspire your child as a leader instead of simply “telling” them what to do.

When you “tell” your child to do something, you are perhaps behaving like a “manager” at work. The Manager ‘tells’ the team what to do, the individuals in the team don’t have a choice and hence they “do” what’s asked of them. There isn’t any ownership; it’s forced on them.

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Let’s extend this thought to your child and you. Your child maybe 10 years old and above, they’ve by now developed certain likes and dislikes. Most kids at this age, aren’t excited by the thought of studying, (mainly because teachers make their sessions boring and their brain switches off, but let’s not get into that now), as parents, you know the importance of acquiring that knowledge, so you “tell” your child “Don’t waste time, study.”

The moment it comes from you as an order, the child takes that information as an order or a command. You have established the concept of hierarchy effectively, so what you say is final, and your child is subordinate to you. When you say, “you must, you should, you have to” you have pronounced a judgement, and this shows your need to “control” their undesirable nature, which in this case, could be spending time on Netflix, Pinterest, Insta, Tumbler etc.

Quote on parenting

You may wonder, am I attempting to encourage undesirable behaviour? Of course not! The trick is how do you say this, without being judgemental. How can you encourage your child to act on their own?

“I can handle your telling me

What I did or didn’t do.

And I can handle your interpretation,

But please don’t mix the two.

If you want to confuse any issue,

I can tell you how to do it:

Mix together what I do

With how you react to it.”

M. Roesenberg

This is probably what your child thinks. How about you speaking without any evaluations?

Parent: “I have been seeing that you’re on your phone/iPad/laptop watching Netflix, Pinterest, Insta, Tumbler etc. for close to five hours every day, I get worried when I see that.”

Child: “Why are you worried about it?”

Parent: “Well, you’ve got exams beginning end of February, and to get a grip, you’ll need to spend some time practising your old papers. I am concerned with your current schedule you may not get enough time for that, and this may impact your result.”

Child: “Alright, I get the point, I will cut down on my internet browsing.”

So, now your child won’t toe the line that you’ve set, but you will have effectively helped them to buy into your vision, one that they are surely responsible for creating. You have intrinsically motivated your child to work towards the desired goal and not just set it in as an order they have to follow.

Parenting quote

For this to be effective, you need to be a parent who’s “self-aware”. Clifton StrengthsFinder is one such tool that permits you to be aware of yourself and your child through identifying the unique strengths that you both possess and helping you mitigate the weaknesses that you or your child may have.

When you become intensely aware of your own self, you become aware who you are as a human being and begin to appreciate your own child as an individual on their own right. That’s when:

  • you can take decisions without worrying
  • inspire your child to take on responsibilities
  • Understand how you can solve problems without conflict

“Tomorrow belongs to the people, who prepare for it today” – African Proverb

Useful Tips On How To Inspire Your Child As A Parent.


About The Author :

Debika Chaudhuri is a Gallup Performance Coach who works with youngsters and parents to bring out their best potential. She’s written the book “A Parent’s handbook to help kids set goals” available on Amazon Kindle. She’s a behavioural scientist who continues to understand how parents impact their child’s growth and development over the years to deliver grit and excellence in their life. Debika runs Elzix Foundation that works with parents, kids and leaders to empower them.

You can reach her at


LinkedIn – Debika Chaudhuri

Blog –Setting Up Kids For Success

Instagram – ChaudhariDebika

Twitter – DebikaChaudhari

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