These 9 Amazing Life Lessons Are A Gift From My Husband
It’s said opposites attract. And I completely agree with Susan Cain “Opposites attract, and I think temperament is so fundamental that you end up craving someone of the opposite temperament to complete you.” In simple terms you are naturally drawn towards individuals who have strengths that we are missing. … So in a sense, our attraction to the opposite personality can be seen as our subconscious minds driving us towards becoming a more complete individual.
I have known my husband now for 25 years which includes 2 years of courtship and I have seen him change, grown and become a more mature individual. But more importantly, I have grown with him and have become a completely different individual.
I strongly feel that while love drives any relationship, mutual respect helps it to grow and mature over a period of time. And that respect comes when you take the weaknesses of your partner in your stride and become his/her strength.
There are so many things I have learned and imbibed from my husband and today as he completes his 50th year, I want him to know that each of these has added to my personality.
This Is What I Learned From My Husband
1. Make Things Happen:
I am not the one who will push anyone or anything to happen on the work or personal front especially if it involves my work. That’s quite unlike my work profile of project management where I ensure and make projects happen on time. But on the personal front, I am uncomfortable asking or pushing someone for anything.
But Pankaj believes in making things converge together to make them happen as he wants. So whether it’s asking for a better price or service, he demands and he gets it. He does not hesitate to ask for status or force decisions that eventually turn out his way.
I think this has rubbed off a little on my overcautious nature and I have moved towards that zone now.
2. Never Leave Things Unsaid
My husband is a firm believer in the fact that if you feel it, say it. I remember in our early days of marriage, he used to always encourage me to share my feeling whether anger or happiness. There is no point in loving someone if you don’t say it and no point in keeping anger inside you. In the initial years of marriage when you are adjusting to a new family and environment, these small things made a huge difference.
3. Cherish And Maintain Friendships
I am frankly not a very outgoing and extrovert person who makes friends instantly. I take my time to open up to a stranger and accept a person as a friend. And Pankaj is completely the opposite. He is outgoing, vivacious and can connect with people instantly and people love this quality of his. He is easy to make friends with and maintains these friendships.
I think he has friends in all corners of the world and at all stages of life, whether it be school, colony, college, work, city, sports and more.
While these friendships may have interfered with our quality time sometimes but in hindsight, these have also enriched him as an individual and taught him how to deal with different personalities. And they have come in handy when we needed help as recent as migrating to Singapore.
The biggest corporate lesson that I have learned from my husband is that nothing works better than networking in this world and he is a pro at it.
Whether it was his first job 25 years back or his current one in Singapore, he continues to hone his skills continues to work with various stakeholders and firmly believe corporate hierarchies are made only for ease of execution & escalation. One needs to reach out to people irrespective of hierarchies and levels.
5. Accept Mistakes and Be Open To Different Opinions
When we are young, we feel we know all and it’s difficult to look at other people’s opinions. We have all gone through this stage and as we matured we realised the importance of respecting others’ opinions and maybe changing ours. Pankaj though has opinions on quite a few things but is willing to hear the other person out. He may not change his opinion but he does take an effort to understand why the other person is saying what he is saying.
This has become a must now with two teen daughters who have a mind of their own & who are educating us on the GenZ world. My daughters have their share of arguments with him but at the end of the day the conversation ends at “after all we are your daughters”.
6. Life Is an Adventure
I am not adventurous at all. From eating the same dish in a restaurant to taking the same route while driving, I’m not particularly eager to change things working for me. And outdoor adventures are a big No-No. I err on the side of caution always, and that’s by nature.
My husband is a completely outdoor person and loves experimenting, whether it’s food, travel or adventure sports. He is a sports buff and an enthusiastic cheerleader for my girls.
Therefore as a father, he instils a habit of experimentation and adventures in girls, two skills that will help them explore new things and experiences in life. And needless to say, it has rubbed off on me too.
7. No-Barred Conversations
This substantiates the point made in point 1- ask and you shall get especially for discounts/compensations for substandard service or delays. He is extremely sensitive to substandard delivery and does not shy away from demanding his money’s worth. This is one quality that I am yet to master.
While Pankaj is a great planner and plans all his holidays and itinerary to perfection, he also believes in spontaneity in day to day living. So many parties or get together hosted by us have been a result of his impulsive decisions which sometimes give me some missing beats but in the end, they add to loadful of fun and memories.
9. Positivity Always
Pankaj’s Positivity is infectious. He does not let difficult situations weigh him down and always likes to keep the environment around positive and light. That does not mean that he does not feel the stress or the tension but he does not let it interfere in his relationships or interactions. Misplaced irritation does happen but does not last long.
A healthy relationship is a relationship of equals. In this, both partners have equal rights and equal responsibilities. They don’t shy away from accepting their weaknesses and are open to learning from each other & growing together.
For me, it’s been a case of unlearning & learning new ways of living life thanks to him.
Happy 50th my dear husband… you are one of a kind and someone that I take pride in.
9 Useful Lessons in Life That My Husband Taught Me.