11 Couple Goals That Will Make Your Love Stronger

11 Valuable Couple Goals For A Blissful And Fulfilling Life Together

Human beings thrive on Relationships from times immemorial. A relationship is defined as the way we connect through our interactions, behaviours & commitments. One of the most important relationships is the couple relationship. It’s a commitment to stand by each other through good times & bad. Couple relationships have an ability to impact the mind and soul of both the partners & hence it’s important to have well-defined couple goals. These Couple goals set the basis for a long-term healthy couple relationship.

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What is A Healthy Couple Relationship?

A healthy relationship is a relationship of equals. In this, both partners have equal rights and equal responsibilities. It may so happen that in some situations, one may take precedence over others but with mutual consent & understanding the need of the hour.

How do we ensure that as a couple, we can strike the right balance of our priorities & the other person’s needs and have harmony between the two?

This is possible by putting down some goals or defining how we will behave & what we will prioritise in our relationship.

When my husband and I started dating about 25 years back, we put down some goals for our relationship, which evolved as our relationship evolved. Some new goals got added when we had our first child, and since then we both have been trying to live by these goals. We have our share of missed goals, but it makes us try harder next time.

There is no rule book of how to set goals as a couple, and here is our list of couple goals that seem to be working for us (touch wood).

Our Relationship Goals

1. Never Sleep Over An Argument

While we may have flouted this many times, it remains one of the most important goals we try to meet. It is not healthy to let any discontent linger on for long. And the only thing that’s stops us from taking the first step towards resolution is our ego.

It’s important to keep the ego aside and sort out any issues that are bothering us. Remember tiniest of thing if not sorted at the right time can lead to bigger misunderstandings.

2. Respecting Each Other’s Family

To get respect, one has to give respect. It’s important to respect each other’s extended families. This shows your partner that you care for people he/she cares for and makes your bond with your partner stronger.

3. Giving Each Other their space or Me-Time

While relationships are all about sharing yourself with others, the most important relationship is with yourself. And you sometimes need that time with yourself to unwind & relax. For you, it may be catching a movie on Netflix while for your partner, it may be reading a book or listening to spiritual podcasts.

My husband and I have different preferences for me-time, and that’s perfectly fine. We are happy to give each other the much required “my-space”.

4. Spending Time with Our Tribe

Simply put, spending time with our friends. While I have friends, I did not go out with them frequently as I was too tied up with my work & girls.

But my husband likes to spend time with his friends, and they are in all corners of the world. He has taken pains to nurture these relationships & continues to do so. While initially, I had some issues with these meetings’ frequency, I soon realized that this is a great stress buster for him. Evening badminton or squash game with his friends was something he looked forward to.

Seeing him, I have put this as my goal too now since my girls are now grown up & I have time on hand.  Spending time with your tribe is a great refresher in an otherwise monotonous routine. Good for my husband as I crib less now, I think.

5. Respecting Each Other’s Likes & Dislikes

Staying together as a couple is all about adjusting to each other’s likes and dislikes. Some of these are easy to adjust while others may test our patience to the hilt. We need to decide how much is too much.

If some of these habits disturb either of your’s mental peace, a frank discussion is warranted to derive a mid-path. There is no point simmering over issues and trying to sweep them under the carpet. These frustrations come out some time or the other in unexpected ways which can be detrimental to your relationships.

My husband’s biggest compromise was respecting my decision not to have a pet for the longest time. He himself is a pet lover and had two before we got married. We finally kept a pet last year, and it’s been an amazing experience. Please read my story here –This Is What Happens When A Non-Dog Lover Gets One.

6. Pick Your Battles Wisely

As a corollary to the above point, let’s be mindful of what needs to be picked up for a discussion. And is it really worth the effort? Ignorance is bliss is actually a wise saying in certain situations.

Honestly, we both have accepted certain things about each other, which cannot change. It took time and a few arguments, but now we are at peace with those habits. For me, they still are irritants but not big enough to rage a battle.

Sometimes being perfectly imperfect has its own charm. Trust me on this.

7. Respecting Each Other Professionally

When both partners are working, they must respect each other’s professional commitment. Especially when you have kids, both the partners should take up dual responsibility when the need arises.

In our case, there have been times when I was stuck in meetings or had to travel, and my husband stepped in to play my part (with my instruction manual of course).

8. Never Speak Ill About Our Child In Front Of Others

This got added to our list when our first daughter was born.

I have seen so many parents talking negatively about their children in front of others. We decided never to talk negatively about our child even in front of our immediate family members. We strongly feel that we are responsible for our child’s behaviour & there is no merit in talking about that with others. Rather we encourage Reverse Parenting Approach, which is parenting by learning from our two girls. Read this powerful approach here.

9. Speak The Same Language In Front Of Our Child

We may have different opinions regarding bringing up our children & how they should act or react in different situations. We can discuss, debate, argue but amongst ourselves. Our disconnect should not and must not be apparent to our kids. And I say that for two reasons-

• Our disconnect may confuse the child, and he/she may not know what is right /wrong
• Kids can take advantage of this situation and play one against the other.

This again required a lot of restraint from both partners and the maturity to understand that both have the child’s best interest in mind.

10. Spending Time With Each Other

This is easier to do when you don’t have kids. However, as children come into the picture, and they start schooling, the responsibilities grow multifold.

It becomes difficult to take time out alone as a couple. We have gone through that stage & hence feel that we could have probably spent more times together.

But I have no regrets & we are making up for that time now. So even if it’s an hour-long walk or doing yoga together or a quiet Friday evening drink at our favourite corner bar, we cherish our moments together.

11. Lifelong Commitment Through Sickness & In Health

Sounds obvious but this is most difficult to do. I have seen two situations in my family. My mother was completely devoted to taking care of my father, who had serious heart ailments. Her life revolved around him, his medicines, his reports and his well-being till his last breath.

Same is the case with my father-in-law who was a dedicated, selfless caregiver to my mother-in-law.

My father and my mother-in-law were really lucky to have got such partners.

And these were not love marriages; these were arranged marriages where love beautifully & selflessly transcends beyond the physical to care, compassion & commitment of a lifetime.

This as per me, is the ultimate Goal of being a couple.

After reading my goals, you must be wondering why I have not included the usual goals like communication, intimacy, having fun together etc.  Yes, these are fundamental aspects of a relationship too. And I feel having the above 11 goals, is a culmination of all these important aspects.

So, what relationship goals have you set for yourself? I would love to hear your thoughts & feedback. And yes, please don’t forget to share these goals with your partner & encourage your friends too to set up some couple goals for a long-lasting healthy relationship.

A big Thank You to my sister Dr.Minni Chadha for the beautiful couple artwork

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These 11 Real Relationship Goals Will Make Your Love Deeper.

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Healthy long-lasting relationships require both love and commitment. Set Couple goals and strengthen your bond every time you meet them.